Normalization of emotional abuse of women in movies

                  This sunday while browsing over different movies in netflix i have got a chance to look on a movie called "Hey Sinamika". Though originally it is a malayalam movie it had dulqar salman (combination of amazing looks + acting) as hero. So without thinking twice all family members started to watch the movie. This movie was about a couple "Aryan" and "Mouna". Movie starts with mouna and Aryan falling in love and getting married but we get to know that this lovey dovey couple has serious relationship problems. Mouna is fed up with Aryans talkative and nosey behaviour. Aryan lectures mouna( not only mouna but everyone in the movie) about how to do everything. He keeps on talking even without understanding whether the other person is intrested or not. He is always in his own world. But that doesnot mean he doesnot love and care Mouna but his love doesnot allow Mouna to have space in her life. So inorder to get freedom in her life she asks malarvazhi to enter into his life.  malarvazhi is a psychiatrist and a relationship counsellor. She has a tag of "home wrecker". Not because she has a man in her life who is married. But she puts all her efforts to expose men who cheat ontheir wives. So when Aryan gets close to malar, mouna realises her folly and the rest of the movie is how aryan and mouna deal with their relationship. Movie was a cute romcom and we enjoyed alot. But...

              In the movie Aryan actually doesnot give mouna enough space to breath. And in the relationship it was Mouna who was on the suffering end. But in the movie it was depicted as if she was the one who was wrong in the relationship (only mistake was asking malarvazi to enter her husbands life so that she can take divorce from her husband instead of directly talking to him) . I find Aryan`s character normal we see in indian household, where husband always try to give instructions to wife in whatever work they do. Be it household work or related office husbands always try to guide their wives even when it is not required.  I would say such relations are toxic as only one person is eating up the space of other. So now coming to the movie, Mouna realises her mistake and tries to work things between her and Aryan. But in the movie, It is never strongly shown that Aryan rectifies his mistake for being so intrusive. In the end, It is shown that Mouna begs aryan to not divorce her and promises him that she would accept her as he is. That means she is ok with  a life with no space. But is it really ok for a person to be in a relationship with no personal space.

             I also have a issue with depiction of malarvazhi  in the movie. Her receptionist also calls her a relationship breaker as all her clients get seperated. But in reality she actually tells truth in a relationship if someone is cheating. In the movie a couple of men team up and start damaging her property. why? Because she said to their respective wives that they are cheating. and all the men were actually cheating and still they call malar a home wrecker. Like seriously..  Being a child of single parent , abusive childhood and unsuccessful marriage, Malar always tried to helped people to get rid of their cheating partners. She is a strong willed woman and she loves her job. But in conclusion of movie even she herself feels as a homewrecker feels the burden of her clients failed relationships and she shifts to become an RJ (out of nowhere). So that means a man can cheat on his partner but if a women tells the truth to his wife then she is a homewrecker. Doesnot he remember about his wife and kids when is having an affair with other woman.

          The movie was a breeze to watch and all the actors have performed their part very well. My only concern for this movie was weak potrayal of its women and normalising emotional abuse in a relationship.

  

“Question authority. Only by questioning accepted wisdom we can advance our understanding of the world.”

In the quest for the knowledge It is bankable to question the accepted thesis but it is not the only factor,there are other factors like detailed analysis ,self check and modifying one’s own mistakes that is important for better understanding of world.

Firstly let us examine what ‘only questioning the accepted wisdom advances our understanding of world’ .The basic idea of solar system would have been lost if Nicolas copernicus have not questioned the geocentric theory which was widely accepted. There would be no heliocentric theory that is the basis for the modern astronomy. Whenever there is inequality in the society or institution the authorities must be questioned to get justice.Let us take example of women in india.During the ancient times,Women were not allowed to study.They used to be dependent on others.There were dangerous customs like child marriages,sati etc.This scenario would not have changed if reformers like Rajarammohan roy did not question the accepted customs.

However ,Advancement does not rely only on questioning the previous thesis but also on detailed analysis .Let us take example of Newton, We all know that ‘Falling an apple from tree’ motivated newton in drawing gravitational laws.If he had just left away as anyother without analyzing why it actually fell down Then he would have been a pioneer in the science.

In addition to detailed analysis ,modifying the errors we commit previously and positive attitude are also some of the major factors,We can take the example of wright brothers.when they invented first flying machine it just flew few meters above the land. If they had not conducted further extensions for their model then we would not have had aeroplanes.

Thus I conclude by saying that along with questioning the accepted knowledge ,detailed analysis etc also plays a pivotal role in better understanding of the world.